Chapter 26

Tammy was perfect.  She had everything.  She was petite and had huge beautiful blue eyes.  She had parents who loved her and nurtured her natural talent.  She lived in a grand house and had two mopeds!!!  I know this because we went out riding on them once.  It was awesome!  I adopted the “keep your friends close and your enemies closer” mentality.  Only she wasn’t really my enemy, just my best competition.  I wanted to be her friend, but it is difficult when you harbor jealousy towards someone.  This useless emotion was one I was starting to be very familiar with.  I was jealous of everyone that had something I didn’t.   Beauty, good parents, Nikes!!!  I was jealous of Tammy for all that she had, even though this wasn’t her fault, just her good fortune.  I was also jealous of my cousin Carrie from a young age.  She, too, had everything, including at least six Cabbage Patch kids.  I only had a fake one my grandmother thought would be fine.  It was not.  Carrie recently gave me one of her Cabbage Patch babies so I could finally have a real one.  My life is now complete.  What I was most jealous of was the love that everyone around me seemed to receive.  That’s all I really wanted ~ love.  As I’ve said, John and Mary didn’t seem to have any leftover love to give to Maria or me.  They gave us the necessities ~ food, underwear, a roof over our heads ~ but nothing more.  I was starving for love, from anyone.  This is dangerous territory for young girls.  This is when we go in search of love from all the wrong places.  But I was lucky.  What I didn’t realize was that I was about to be saved and given all the love I would ever need.