Chapter 2

“How are you so normal?”  This is always the first response when someone hears my story.  My flattered reaction is always a smile.  Normal.  High-functioning member of society, maybe, but normal?  Let’s not get crazy.  I don’t have a lot of memories of the time before I was born, but the one thing I do recall is how my mother felt about being “with child”.  According to my maternal grandmother, my mother wanted to end my life before it even began but my grandmother wouldn’t let her do it.  Sweet story, Granny.  Any other bedtime tales for me?  I’m not sure how many times Grandma shared this little nugget with me, but enough for me to always be grateful for her heroic efforts.  Go ahead, Granny ~ the schnapps is in the fridge.  You deserve it!  So born I was ~ feet first, from what I’ve been told.  Shortly thereafter, my father and mother divorced.  They were only married a short time, so I never knew him.  I know nothing of him or the Utley side of my family.  I do know he passed away when I was about 23 years old.  Kidney failure brought on by liver cancer.  Hmm, he might have also been fond of schnapps.  Anyway, my birth brought on my mother’s very first nervous breakdown.  Or that’s what we called them in the 70’s.  She was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia and continues to live with it today.  I’m not sure if she was medicated at the time or not, but I am sure she didn’t stay on any meds.  When my parents divorced, we moved in with my grandmother.  Until my mother married the man who would become my stepfather when I was three years old.  Thanks for reading ~ see you soon…