Chapter 17

I’ve recently been told that all kids shoplift at some point in their life.  It may be something innocent like a pack of gum or a candy bar.  It’s a right of passage for an adolescent.  This new information made me feel a lot better about my past as a 12 year-old thief.  I only had one target ~ the Walgreens a couple of blocks away from my grandmother’s house.  And being a pre-teen, I was only interested in beauty products and jewelry.  I remember specifically the L’Oreal blush in Bebe and my first set of Lee Press-On Nails.  The day I got caught I had in my possession a cheap pearl necklace and some earrings.  I walked out of the store triumphant, excited to don my new loot while I looked in the mirror and sang along to my grandmothers Judy Garland record.  But about five steps into my victory, I was halted by the voice of the store manager.  “Young lady, I need you to come back in the store, please,” he ordered.  I did as I was told.  I knew I was collared.  We went to the back of the store to a little office.  The manager asked a young sales girl to join us.  “Please empty your purse,” he said calmly.  I calmly obliged, but I was a nervous wreck inside.  Out fell the necklace, earrings, and my awesome yellow comb that I usually wore in the back pocket of my Kmart jeans.  The next thing I remember was being downtown at the police station with my grandmother.  I was so scared.  At that moment, I was certain I had ruined my life.  I would never be able to go to college and I would never get a job.  I had become a statistic, just like the counselor from group said.  This would be on my permanent record.  I would have no future. Or so I thought.  My grandmother was angry with me, but we went back to her house and that was that.  We made popcorn and watched TV.  For the rest of the weekend, I could think of nothing but my stupidity.  What would Ruthann and Jay think?  They could never know.  They could never know that I was a thief.  I’m certain this was a turning point for me and for my life.  I felt I had something to prove to everyone who had pity on me and my situation.  I was not like my mother.  I would not live the life she did.  I wanted to be special and I had to make sure no one ever knew what I had come from.  On Sunday night Ruthann came to pick me up and take me away from what I had done.  I never told Ruthann and Jay of my time in the big house.  All 30 minutes.  They would never know and therefore would still be able to love me.  A few weeks passed until one night Jay and I were in the living room watching TV when Ruthann came in fuming.  “What is this?” she asked waiving a piece of paper at me.  “You were caught stealing?”  The words pierced through me with a chill.  That was it.  I knew she didn’t love me anymore.  To this day, I have no idea what that piece of mail said or what she had to do because of it, but I do know it was the final straw.