Chapter 21

We later learned that Brad died from Hamman-Rich Syndrome.  At the time, they explained that Brad’s lungs had filled with mucus over a long period of time until his lungs failed and his heart stopped.  A few months before, Brad passed out in the dentist office.  I wasn’t there, but I know he went to the hospital.  The doctors said it was a fluke; he had nothing wrong with him.  But he did and he died two days before his 16^th birthday.  Suddenly, Karen would have nothing to do with me.  She would yell at me all the time and one day screamed that it was my fault Brad had died.  She said he died on my birthday so everyone would know it was my fault.  If I hadn’t moved in with them this never would have happened.  I know now Karen was grieving and needed someone to blame for her loss.  But at the time, I was so terrified.  What if she was right?  What if this was my fault?  After several weeks, the state of Iowa decided this was no longer a healthy environment for a young girl.  I was moving again.  I made contact with Sandy and Larry while in my early twenties.  I looked them up in the phone book and called their number from my Grandma’s rotary telephone.  Karen answered.  I told her who I was and she told me to come over right away.  They had moved to a different house in Davenport so it took me awhile to find it.  I parked my car on the street and when I shut my car door, their front door burst open and Karen came running towards me in the street.  She threw her arms around me and wept.  I just held her and cried with her.  She was sorry.  She didn’t have to say it.  I knew it as her tears dropped from her eyes and landed on my cheeks.  And in that moment I forgave her.  Eventually we pulled ourselves together and went inside.  This house was very different from the one with the pool.  It was much older and worn.  And everything was white.  Maybe it was to erase all their blackness.  Sandy and Larry looked the same, just older.  And they had adopted twin boys that were about 4 years old.  We had a nice visit.  It made me realized I was fortunate to have gotten out.  They seemed surprised I had graduated from college.  I’m sure most people would be.  I never saw any of them again after that night.  I learned later that Sandy and Larry had eventually divorced.  I don’t know what happened to Karen or Trisha.  I think them often.  I still have Brad’s obituary in a shoebox of mementos.  I think of him on every one of my birthdays.  And again two days later on his.