Tammy was perfect.
She had everything. She was
petite and had huge beautiful blue eyes.
She had parents who loved her and nurtured her natural talent. She lived in a grand house and had two
mopeds!!! I know this because we went
out riding on them once. It was
awesome! I adopted the “keep your
friends close and your enemies closer” mentality. Only she wasn’t really my enemy, just my best
competition. I wanted to be her friend,
but it is difficult when you harbor jealousy towards someone. This useless emotion was one I was starting
to be very familiar with. I was jealous
of everyone that had something I didn’t.
Beauty, good parents, Nikes!!! I
was jealous of Tammy for all that she had, even though this wasn’t her fault,
just her good fortune. I was also
jealous of my cousin Carrie from a young age.
She, too, had everything, including at least six Cabbage Patch
kids. I only had a fake one my
grandmother thought would be fine. It
was not. Carrie recently gave me one of
her Cabbage Patch babies so I could finally have a real one. My life is now complete. What I was most jealous of was the love that
everyone around me seemed to receive.
That’s all I really wanted ~ love.
As I’ve said, John and Mary didn’t seem to have any leftover love to
give to Maria or me. They gave us the
necessities ~ food, underwear, a roof over our heads ~ but nothing more. I was starving for love, from anyone. This is dangerous territory for young
girls. This is when we go in search of
love from all the wrong places. But I
was lucky. What I didn’t realize was
that I was about to be saved and given all the love I would ever need.
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